T-8

last night i started having the naked-at-school-without-my-homework dreams about the start of my residency. only in these dreams i am dressed, but i can't organize my desk and people start asking extremely complex, nonsensical therapeutic riddles.

how is a raven like a writing desk? how is vancomycin pharmacodynamically similar to chocolate syrup in a 65kg redhead?

like alice, i stumbled through the hospital, checkered floors interminable before me and the walls twisting.

when i was nine, i was starting 4th grade at a new school. for the whole month before, i wandered the halls of my house all night long. sleep was elusive. some things don't change.

i spend a lot of time now wondering if i made the right decision. it would be so much...safer...to stay at kroger and wear my nametag and stand behind a counter. it is the practice environment i know, where i am comfortable and confident. the iv room at the hospital alone terrifies me.

only time will tell. i was worried when i decided to go to pharmacy school, and it was the best decision i have ever made. it was one of the few decisions i made in my life that was solely mine, and not me simply being carried along by someone else's influence. and i loved it. hopefully i will feel the same about residency when i'm done.